Skip to main content

Some Things You Just Can't Learn - Day 2

My children have learned to speak these words with caution around me, "That thing I learned in school today, I'll never use it in real life!!"  Whine, whine, complain, complain.  There is an automatic button in my brain that, upon hearing these sentiments, or anything closely resembling them, causes my feet to step up on a soapbox and the speech to begin. 

"NO knowledge is wasted knowledge, dear children!  You very well may use that piece of information in the future so learn it well!  Who knows what your future holds!  You have to opportunity to learn right now, to understand, to have the questions of why and how answered in ways that many people can't.  And if you never actually use that nugget of information, you're still benefiting from learning it...your brain is expanding and growing, learning how to learn and becoming something it wasn't before by learning that thing!  So go forth children and LEARN for the sake of learning!!  Find the value of X, Y, and Z, memorize vocab words that you've never heard before, find out who commanded the army that won the deciding battle of the Pacific Theater during World War II!  Learn, I say - LEARN!!!"

Every so often one of the kids still launches in, blindly ignoring the shushing of older siblings who know what's coming, and I get another chance to champion the cause of learning for learning's sake.  It's one of my pet topics.

So it's no surprise that I started reading and learning about parenting long before Scott and I were married or we even had a twinkle in our eyes!  In college, I chose my research topics for papers in Psychology class carefully for the grade and to get me ready to be a great Mom.  My plan was to be the most well-read, well studied, well sermoned, well conferenced Mom out there, because that's just how I do things.  I was not about to do this thing haphazardly.

Then I got married and we started paying bills.  Then I got pregnant and got tired....really tired.  Then the baby came and I got even more tired and real quick another baby came and the diapers piled up and the babies kept growing and getting past the developmental stage I was ready for and then they were totally different personalities and people and then they needed laundry done and then I had to take them for checkups and to the grocery store and then someone had a birthday and then another and then I had miscarriages and worried about if I'd ever have another baby and then the boys used Sharpies on the walls and then we talked about adoption and then I got pregnant with twins and I was so happy but I was more tired than I had ever been before.....and then..... the panic set in.

The learner, the seeker of knowledge that had been parsed and researched by people wiser than I, was out of the loop....set adrift without what I thought was my most important resource.  I felt my kids growing up faster than I could research and learn about them.  It scared and depressed me.  Without the input I had come to depend on from experts, I seriously doubted my ability to be everything I hoped to be for my kids.

Lucky for me, I doubted myself out loud with one of my dear sweet friends who has an intuitive way of reading my heart, pointing her finger in my face and speaking words of life to me.  She said something that I will never forget and has defined my parenting since.

"YOU are the expert on your child!
Experts can teach you general stuff about kids but even Dr. Dobson can't know what YOUR child needs as well as you can.
God gave this child to you.
On purpose.
With a plan for you to be the one to parent them.
The Holy Spirit will only speak to YOU about this child of yours.
So who cares if you don't have the time or energy to read the experts anymore.
You do have the time and energy to listen to the Holy Spirit and He WILL speak to YOU about this child."
-Laura Compton

She's right.  

So if you're a reader, read.  By all means, enjoy the fruits of the expert's labor and learn stuff because learning is valuable and important.  But if you're tired, if reading stresses you out, if life is outpacing your resources right now, let me point my finger in your face and remind you, sweet friend.....

"God gave that child to YOU.....you are the expert.
Ask for the wisdom God's promised you and then trust Him to guide your gut.
You've got this."




<

Comments

  1. Lori, this is perfect. Thanks for sharing. I felt like jumping up and saying "Yeah! That is EXACTLY right!!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Brian! You and Char are raising some pretty amazing kids so that encouragement means a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lori, your blog has been a God send for me! I too am a mom of twins, and I am exhausted all the time! The twins are 2 1/2 and I definitely cant keep up with reading on the changes that are daily happening! I have so often felt guilt for this. So, thank you for the reminder today and for setting my focus on my fleeting season of life! You have been such an encouragement to me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shauna!! Yay for twins.....one of the coolest but most physically demanding blessings there is!! You are in the thick of it right now....there IS a light at the end of this tunnel and you will survive. When I was where you are right now I had a friend see the weary on my face and smack in the butt while she told me to take more naps and make sure I'm taking my vitamins. Just what I needed to hear. So let me ask you, are you taking your vitamins, sleeping well? You're gonna rock this mom of twins thing.....it's really awesome. Mine are 14 right now and I'm still alive! ;) Thanks for your encouragement here. It was really encouraging to read as I sat down just now to write today's post!

      Delete
  4. I was very much like you, Lori! I studied every parenting book I could get my hands on. I was sure they equipped me. But then God gave me a child I didn't know how to fix. But I had a friend too, she gave me a similar message. "God gave YOU this child. He will equip you to raise him. Go to God and pray and listen to His voice. He will lead you!" And He did. Through many valley's and many storms until I released Him to the Father. One day God spoke to my spirit, "This child you call your son - He is my son, now release him." Long story. ;)

    My boy is walking with the Lord today. He ministers to people many would not understand. But because he walked in total rebellion, because we never gave up on him and because the hound of Heaven chased him down, he is uniquely enabled to reach the unreachable. God knows what He is up to. We can count on Him every step of the way, He loves our kid's way more than we are capable of loving.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear what you think!

Popular posts from this blog

What You Need, When You Need It - The Glorious Table

We ate steak at the fanciest place in town, me and my sister, our husbands, and our parents. Around the table, we joined Mom’s reminiscing. We retold our favorite stories of family vacations and holidays. We revealed some silly childhood secrets. And we listened to Mom’s stories from fifty years she and Dad spent together. One of our favorite stories is of the birthday Mom expected a diamond ring but went home from their swanky dinner with a shiny new set of hot rollers. Whenever Mom tells that story, instead of making fun of Dad for his slow-moving ways, she praises his serious, methodical decision making. She points to it as proof of his dependability. My mom told stories. I told stories. My sister told stories. Even our husbands had memories to share. We retold some of the stories Dad put on paper in his journal for us. The thing we missed most was Dad’s voice in the storytelling. Rather than telling the stories himself, he locked eyes on the teller and responded, “By golly, that ha

It's About Who We Are, Not What We Do - The Glorious Table

Living just four blocks down the street from my best friend made it easy to share clothes, secrets, and families. We could be found within a close radius of her backyard pool most summer days. The rhythm of our summer days revolved around Gretchen’s dad’s third-shift work schedule. During the morning hours, the house needed to stay dark and quiet, so we picked peppermint leaves to chew, painted our nails, and read books. Not long after lunchtime, Mr. Liddell would wake up, which paved the way for our favorite summer activity: synchronized swimming routines. We practiced and laughed until we felt ready for an audience. Gretchen’s dad always stopped mid-project to be amazed by our mildly in sync pool programs. He clapped and went back to work while we kept playing. His presence was as steady as the summer sun. He wasn’t merely my friend’s dad; he was a comfortable, expected constant in my life. The familiarity born by all those shared moments made his cancer diagnosis particularly awful

A Backpack Full of Stories

I've had a pile of stones in my heart for a long time, and from time to time, in various places I set stones in a pile that I can see and touch.  I've got lots of other piles in my life, ugly ones that have slowly built over time, piles that I don't like, didn't ask for, that suck the energy out of me.  Piles of laundry, piles of things to do, piles of papers to file, and more piles of laundry.  This pile is different.  This pile is mine on purpose, I've built it.  This pile puts a spotlight on Jesus that breathes life into me as it grows, makes me feel solid and settled and lifts my foot up for the next step of faith.  The stones remind me of moments, moments that have built my faith.  Just like the children of Israel, I've erected a monument in my soul to point my heart, and the hearts of future generations to the powerful God who is working in my life.  Looking at these rocks reminds me of the things I know, the things I've seen Him do on my behalf.  Th