Monday, October 20, 2014

You are Enough - Day 16



There are so many days when you feel like a fraud.  If you're like me, you rolled out of that hospital with your first baby in your arms, half looking over your shoulder expecting someone to come take him and tell you that you aren't qualified.  I mean, you're barely an adult.....only have had a little practice playing house before a baby appeared, shattering all your certainties.  You have shining moments that you pray God will let be the memories cemented into your kids' brains, but they're overshadowed every day by your uncertainty and mis-steps.

This is a serious job.  You feel the weight of eternal souls entrusted to your care and development.  You've seen Judge Judy's courtroom enough times to know that getting it wrong can get ugly.  The last thing you want is someone carrying your last name around in the future, like a banner of your parenting skills, while they're acting like a brat and being irresponsible.  You don't want it for you, and you certainly don't want it for them.  But getting from point A to point B seemed like a much more straight line before you were holding an actual person with your last name in your arms.

You're giving this everything you've got.  You pray with more urgency than you ever have before.  And you've leaned in to do some deep work in your soul, knowing that you don't have a choice about putting it off any longer.  You are giving pieces of yourself that you didn't know existed.  You're finding that your well isn't as deep as you thought it was.  Disappointment and fear want to have their way with you because now you know you you're not enough for your precious child.

I get it.  I've felt that panic-laced catch in my throat and  I've talked myself down off that ledge more than once.   But I've also found an antidote to the fear....the secret sauce....the magic bean....the THING that will help you feel like enough, actually BE enough!  Sharing it with you makes me giddy....I am beyond confident that it can change everything about your mothering...if you just believe it.  So lean in, listen close, take this one lesson deeper into your soul than any other.

YOU are enough for TODAY,
because God CHOSE you for today,
& He is enough EVERYDAY.

I am convinced that the answer to all of life's challenges is really just one - a bigger, more accurate understanding of who God is - that's it - it answers everything, even the big question of how to be a good-enough Mother.  It's a simple formula really, like algebra or computer coding.

 IF this, THEN this.

IF God is the giver of life, THEN He gave this life to me.
IF God always does what is right, THEN making me this child's Mom wasn't an accident.
IF God has a good plan for my child's life, THEN I must be a part of that goodness.
IF God designed the family, THEN He must be using it for His purposes.
IF God is always working, THEN He must be doing something in my child's life.
IF God powerful, THEN my failures aren't big enough to thwart His plans.

THIS is the secret friends - your little is always ENOUGH when it's put into God's capable hands.  You give your best, you pray, you become more than you've been before....and then you rest....and watch God do what God does.

There was a great crowd following Jesus and His disciples one day.  They were thrill-seekers, people who just wanted to see a show.  But they were also just people at dinner-time, people who were hungry.  Jesus saw their needs and cared.  He also saw needs in His disciples hearts and cared about those.  To meet both needs, Jesus asked His disciples where they thought they should buy dinner for the crowd.  Phillip answered right away because the answer was obvious!  None of them had enough to feed this many people, the needs were too great!  "Impossible!" was Phillip's answer.  But then Andrew spoke up.

You see, Andrew had been watching Jesus.  He knew that sometimes things that shouldn't add up, did when Jesus was involved.  And so Andrew ignored the obvious in favor of miraculous potential.

There was a boy in the crowd who's Momma had packed him a lunch.  Andrew led this boy to Jesus with his lunch open and said, "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, 
but how far will they go among so many?"

That's all Jesus was waiting for....a paltry offering and the question...."Can you meet the needs I see with this, even though it's not enough??"  

Jesus had the people all sit down and began breaking the food, giving thanks and passing it out.  He didn't stop until, "....they had all had enough to eat."  Jesus didn't just give them a snack to tide them over, He satisfied them....with an offering that was totally insufficient until it was in Jesus' hands.

You have loaves and fishes in your hands right now.  You have to decide what to do with them.  The end of the story is up to you.  Will you cry over those loaves and fishes because it's so painfully obvious there isn't enough to go around?  Will you hunch over and protect the little you have, fearful that it will get used up and you'll be left empty?  Or will you walk up to Jesus, holding your tiny treasure in outstretched arms.  Will your panic turn to adrenaline as you hand it to Him knowing that He WILL make it ENOUGH.  Will you live freely and be a Mom who can smile because you've found a rock-solid place to put your confidence?

Give your best today.  It will not match the needs before you and you will feel inadequate.  Good.  That's the right place to be because it's the place God most often does His loaves & fishes things.  He gave you those children, with those needs and He made your inadequate heart.  He has a plan and it will not be thwarted.  Just offer up what you have and get ready.  You're going to need baskets to gather up the leftovers of God's goodness and you're going to need to have an answer ready that points to the goodness of God when people ask you what just happened!



6 comments:

  1. "If God is powerful, then my failures aren't big enough to thwart His plans." Best part for me. Thank you for the reminder.

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    1. He is, so you can't!! He's got big plans for those boys!!

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  2. I think I need to bookmark this one to read at least once a week... and some weeks everyday! You are right. God is good. Thanks for the reminders! <3

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    1. I'm right there with you sister! Preaching this message to myself all the time!

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  3. Lori,
    Thanks so much for this post(and the series!!) I have been feeling so burned out lately, but don't have the time in our busy schedule trying to help 5 kids with homework, to go to the women's Bible study Wed nights at church. I can read this anytime during the day, and what a blessing it has been to me! Any chance you can just keep on going after the 31 days??
    God bless you for being such a blessing and encouragement to me as I try to balance work and home with 5 kids(bio and adopted) ages 7, 10, 11, 13, and 15.
    You are such an encouragement and inspiration!!
    Amy

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    1. Thank you for letting me know that, Amy. You are exactly the Momma I'm writing for and it's encouraging for me to know that it's encouraging you! You're so not alone! And you need to know how important what you're doing is. I don't know if I could keep up the pace of a post a day for much more than 31 days, but I am hoping to be much more regular about posting and particularly trying to focus on encouragement to Moms. If you use the email sign-up box you'll always get my posts delivered directly to your inbox so you never miss one. Thanks again for your encouragement!

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