How to Find Beauty in the Fog - The Glorious Table

The radio deejay warned us to use headlights. Dense fog threatened to slow the morning commute and cause accidents. I felt no fear, but I still used my lights, and I counted on other drivers to do the same. I needed them to be visible as I turned onto a busy road and could see only a few feet in front of my vehicle. My heart thumped as I pressed the gas pedal, hoping no surprise would appear out of the mist. Even our familiar path felt strange and different in the fog. I drove with an extra dose of awareness.

That morning drive was easy compared to the days when fog seems to fill my whole life. I hate those days. Indecision paralyzes me. My stomach feels sour, and all I can think about is how easy and straightforward other peoples’ lives look. I want to bury my head in the pillows, refusing to move until the fog lifts. Even then, I know the only way out of this life fog is walking to the edge of it, one tiny step at a time.

Comments

The Fight for Control - Day 3

Preschoolers' bodies contain a power that defies the laws of physics. Moms of preschoolers know there is definitely something metaphysical going on in their homes. It's also clear to Moms like me that every now and then, a special child comes along with whom the force is especially strong. I had a cute little 3-year-old boy who often left me slack-jawed and feeling outflanked. His will was strong and it was aided and abetted by a deft use of words and logic. Maybe you've encountered a kid like him.....you can recognize them by the iron glint in their eyes and the furrowed brows of their Mommas. Maybe you've got one living under your own roof. Even though it felt like Trevor and I jockeyed for position forever...but it was really just a chunk of Trev's 3rd year. Let me tell you, it was one INTENSE year, but it wasn't eternal. Our toughest head-to-heads seemed to always happen on evenings Scott was at a late meeting and I was flying solo....

My Funeral - Day 18

Some people might think it's morbid to think about your own funeral. It's not. It's actually smart. "Begin with the End in Mind" is rule #2 in Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I want to be highly effective. Beginning with the end of my life in mind means I need to think about my own funeral. What's closer to the end than your own funeral? I remember being at my Great-Grandma's funeral not too long after I became a Mom. Her name was Minnie Merrow and she lived a long life. She outlived almost all of her contemporaries. Most people at her funeral were family - children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren. The room was big and it was full. Many people there I didn't even know but each was connected to my great-grandma. I only have a few personal memories of my grandma Minnie. She always kept chocolate chip cookies in her chest freezer and would let my sister and I eat all icy ...

A Cup of Cold Water for Thirsty Mommas - Day 1

For the first time in nearly 20 years....I. Don't. Have. A. Preschooler. Picking out gym shoes and putting a backpack on Ginger has put me in a reflective mood. It's obvious that she's ready to begin school .....the question is, am I? The truth is, it's been an awesome run. I'm incredibly grateful that I have been able to spend these years at home focused on soaking up the first years of my kids' lives. I have loved being the one who teaches them colors, how to take turns during board games, why it's polite to use a tissue instead of a sleeve and being able to pass on my awesome Thriller dance moves. It was an intentional choice that Scott and I made, right at the beginning, to order our little world in such a way that I could focus on being a mom. You see, I believed my mom. She told me to listen to what I've heard about women being able to have it all and do it all. She told me to dream about a career, dream about ...

Lori Florida

Search This Blog