Skip to main content

A Good Man

I've found myself breaking out into tears over a lot of simple things today.  The more everyday and normal a thing, the more golden it seems and teary it's making me.

Our church family lost a good man today....a good man who was a good husband, a good father. 

I'm married to a good man.  I'm feeling how every simple action I'm taking would have been totally different if my good man had been the one to take his last breath today.  The tears that came without warning as I pulled toast out the toaster today were because everything, ev-er-y-THING, would be wrong, off-kilter, horrifying if I were doing it with the ugly knowledge that I was making one piece of toast less than I made yesterday.

I find myself imagining the pain his wife and girls are feeling tonight as they're faced with the sun going down on the day their good man died...and it stops me in my tracks taking my breath away.  How do you sleep in a bed alone with the worst pain you've ever encountered?  How do you face a hamper full of his lovely, dirty clothes?  How do pack your girls' backpacks with school supplies when all you can think about is who won't be walking them down the aisle someday?

He was a good, good man.  He was in the thick of a life that mattered, living humbly and acting righteously.  If his wife and girls are crying that it's not fair tonight, they're right.  It's not fair.  It's not fair at all.  It's horribly wrong.  It's ugly.  It makes me mad.  It's not the way little girls are supposed to go to bed or barely middle-aged wives are supposed to wake up.  They're going to be spending a lot of time with the question, "Why?"

But if I know anything about the husband and Daddy that was taken from them today....I'm pretty sure that I know he's left them with the answer.  As the "why's" echo through their hearts over and over today, tomorrow and as time goes by, I think they're gonna hear other echo's, in a familiar voice, that answer with the truth he left behind.

Their Daddy's voice is going to remind their hearts that....
     ...they still have a good Father who's heart hurts with every tear they cry.
     ...that their Heavenly Father will never leave them.
     ....that all things work together for their good, even ugly things like this.

Her husband's voice will whisper to her that....
     ...God is really good. All. The. Time.
     ...that God will strengthen and carry her and calm her fears.
     ...that God will satisfy her heart with good things.

Because he lived the Gospel.  He lived, in front of them, the power of Christ's redemption over the ravages of sin in the world.  God didn't plan it this way....He didn't create a world where Daddy's hearts give out when they're 38 and deeply loved husbands have to be taken off of life-support less than a week after they left for work healthy and strong. 

God created the Garden of Eden for his beloved humans, He gave them paradise.  God didn't do this.  Sin did it.  The selfish sin in the Garden of Eden started the nasty spiral into death that left us crying, "it's not fair!" today.  Sin is the ultimate cancer that's infected our world.  It leaves us gasping for breath and knowing deep in our souls that something is profoundly broken in our world.  But, God will not be thwarted, His plan will prevail, even as sin has it's way for a while.  Because, as my friend taught his daughters, Christ has conquered death, and stolen the sting of death out of Satan's arsenal.  Oh, death can knock the wind out of believers, it causes us great pain.  But death cannot crush us.  Just as the power of the cross restores our hearts to freedom, it restores our hope with the resurrection.  Sin turned the Garden of Eden into a minefield full of dangers.  The cross paved narrow paths of safety and hope with a guide offering comfort as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

The lost of a good man has left us grieving today.  But that good man would want the very pain his loss caused to be swallowed up by the care of a Good Father.  He would tell us to be mad at sin, not mad at God.  He would want us to see all the ways God is protecting us, even today, from the full ugliness of sin. 

And he wouldn't want the world to stand still, as it feels like it should today.  He would ask us to hold up his beloved family as they stagger under the weight of emptiness.  He would tell us to live deeply our everyday moments with the ones we love. He would expect us to trust our Good Father with the fullness of today as well as the emptiness of tomorrow.  He would want us to savor making every piece of toast...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fear - You're Not the Boss of Me Anymore! - Part 1

I had a recurring nightmare as a child. It woke me in the middle of the night and kept me awake worrying about whether it would fill my mind as soon as I closed my eyes. I thought I would outgrow it. I hoped my adult brain would be able to see things my child’s brain couldn’t and I would be free. Instead, a panicky fear of my Dad dying followed me into marriage and parenting. I’m 49 years old and until recently, the nightmare still showed up in various forms.
This year my beloved Daddy died. I watched him take his last breath in front of me and imagined him arriving with the next in heaven. My whole life I’ve been clenched up around the fear that watching him die might break something inside of me and I couldn’t survive. 

It didn’t happen. I’m more okay than I ever thought possible. My dad isn’t living anymore, he’s not here on earth for me to talk to or touch and I’m sitting upright and in my right mind. Today I’m amazed at my okayness. Finally being free of this fear I’ve lived with s…

A Cup of Cold Water for Thirsty Mommas - Day 1

For the first time in nearly 20 years....I. Don't. Have. A. Preschooler.  Picking out gym shoes and putting a backpack on Ginger has put me in a reflective mood.  It's obvious that she's ready to begin school .....the question is, am I? 

The truth is, it's been an awesome run.  I'm incredibly grateful that I have been able to spend these years at home focused on soaking up the first years of my kids' lives.  I have loved being the one who teaches them colors, how to take turns during board games, why it's polite to use a tissue instead of a sleeve and being able to pass on my awesome Thriller dance moves.  It was an intentional choice that Scott and I made, right at the beginning, to order our little world in such a way that I could focus on being a mom.

You see, I believed my mom.  She told me to listen to what I've heard about women being able to have it all and do it all.  She told me to dream about a career, dream about being a mom, dream about ho…

We've Seen Their Faces!!

Ready to have your mind blown?   Have we got a referral story for you!  It's a like a book with a plot that sucks you in right from the start, leaving you gritty-eyed from endless "just-one-more-chapter" nights.  You mean to put the book down and sleep like a normal person...but then the last paragraph of each chapter makes your eyes go wide and steals all willpower except for the "page turning" kind.  One twist in the plot after another that you COULDN'T SEE COMING....twists that are the best satisfaction a plot could offer.  It's better than what you hoped was coming and leaves you amazed at the writer's craft.  Ever read a book like that?? I have.  I LOOOVE them.  The past few weeks have shown me that I SUPER LOOOOVE living that kind of plot!
A good story has to start at the beginning.....Once upon a time, God stirred our hearts in an undeniable way and called us to respond to His orphaned children by making a few of them Floridas.  We gulped, s…